New Geek on the Block
Technology, Sci-Fi, Gadgets, & Geekery.

An Open Letter to the Douche Bag Who Stole My Bike.

Dear Asshole,

Thanks for stealing my only mode of reliable transportation. It was nice that you left my lock lying broken on the ground, at least I now know it was a worthless piece of shit. I might as well have tied my bike to the rack with a shoelace, judging by the clean laceration you left.

I hope you realize what a fowl, despicable person you are. Stealing from a department store is one thing, they account for a certain amount of loss, it’s to be expected, but to steal from an individual who relied on their bike to get from point A to point B is just cruel. I had a bike because a car doesn’t fall within my budget, and biking is both an excellent workout and an efficient form of transportation. You stole this from me!

I hope karma catches up with you, preferably in the form of an extremely large vehicle (like a bus, or an Albertan driving a Hummer down Portage Ave). You deserve the worst kind of punishment.



PS. Go die in a fire.


One Response to “An Open Letter to the Douche Bag Who Stole My Bike.”

  1. Beautiful… The PS is the icing on the cake. I wrote a similar letter on my blog to the person who stole my laptop, so I feel your pain.

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