New Geek on the Block
Technology, Sci-Fi, Gadgets, & Geekery.

Things to do when you can’t get online.

-Organize your dvd collection. This can be done in any number of ways, such as: alphabetically by director, or title; categorically by subject matter or genre; numerically by order of preference; colour coded according to the colour of the spine; categorically by production studio, or some random organization method you’ve devised to throw people off (ie. alphabetically by surname of the first assistant AD or best boy, this method may take more research and implementation, only for hardcore internet withdrawal and extreme bordom).

-Reorganize Furniture and artwork. Go nuts feng shueing the crap out of your house, or if asian furniture placement isn’t your thing than may I suggest using big pieces of furniture to create a maze of walls so that burglars or repair men will get lost in your labyrinth. This would be most effective if you could obtain a centaur from somewhere, however without Internet access you won’t be able to check ebay or Centaurs ‘R Us.

-Try exotic new recipes. Because you don’t have access to the zillions of recipe websites feel free to make up your own (because let’s be serious unless you are over 45 you probably don’t actually own any recipe books). I suggest going to your local grocery store (preferably one with an imported foods isle) and randomly grabbing items, or maybe look for the weirdest items, something with as little english on the package as possible, then when you get home pour a bit of everything into a frying pan, let simmer on medium for 10 to 15 minutes and enjoy. [EDITOR’S NOTE: DO THIS AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION Greg2point0 ACCEPTS NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR CASUALTIES]

-Go outside and meet people. OK this is a last resort, because let’s get serious houses have doors and walls for a reason (so that you don’t have to talk to all the crazies that live in your neighborhood!) But if you are really really bored, and can work up the courage to leave your humble abode, this may prove to be an interesting adventure.


6 Responses to “Things to do when you can’t get online.”

  1. Or scream your heart out because you can’t get online and the Internet is something everybody can’t live without. Just kidding. I usually finish small chores while waiting for my ISP to fix stuff up.

  2. If it weren’t for Starbucks wifi (as shitty and unreliable as it is) I would be going insane right now.

  3. As goddamned if you stole my DVD organizational system — colour coding by spine shade is MY THING, you bastard. It only backfired once. Stupid Anchorman was an unexpected colour…

    And also, eat a bag of dicks. I own cookbooks and am nowhere NEAR 45. Douchebag.

  4. Also, that entire comment was QUITE hostile. More hostile than I originally intended. Not that I was looking for it to be all fuzzy bunny hugs and glitter hearts, I wanted it to be a LITTLE mean…. but not that much.

  5. i organize by director and genre and the rest that i pirated arrrrrr.

  6. I just reorganized and now they are arranged by a system based on favoritism and director. Stuff I watch often is on the top shelf, stuff I watch less frequently is on the bottom shelves.

    Emily, I didn’t steal your organization system, I merely made reference to it.

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